If you haven’t guessed by now, being surrounded by energy takers is probably not the healthiest thing for your mental or emotional state. It’s easy to feel like they’re constantly trying to take their pick of your stability and happiness. And on the days when you aren’t feeling very well or aren’t in a great place mentally, it can be downright painful to interact with them.
Identify the energy givers and energy takers.
The truth is, we all have energy givers and energy takers in our lives. The key is to identify them and how they affect your life. It’s all about balance.
The energy givers are the things or people who inspire you, motivate you, and make you feel good. They’re the people you want to be around because they make you feel like your best self. In fact, they make you feel like a winner. They are those things or people that make us feel energized, inspired and happy. Energy givers can be people, a hobby, a relationship, good health or even the simple act of being in nature.
- Fresh air
- Some people
Instead, the energy takers are those things that deplete our energy and leave us feeling drained. They’re the things that leave us feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. It can be many things, from long-commutes to negative thoughts and bad relationships.
- Social media
- Inconsistent sleep
- Certain food
- Alcohol dependence
- Being people pleasing
- Setting unrealistic goals
- No boundaries
- Autopilot mode
- Never taking breaks
- Some people
Create space for your energy givers daily and cut out the energy takers with surgical precision.
Your challenge is to create space for your energy givers every day. You will have to pass on spending time with the energy takers to do this. It’s not easy because sometimes they’re close friends or family members. This is why setting boundaries is so important. Begin to say no to those who drain your energy and yes to those who refill your tank.
It’s not realistic to expect that we can eliminate all of our energy takers, but it is important to limit them where we can. What you can do is limit their access to your life.
Limiting their access means limiting the power they have over you. Limiting their power over you ultimately means limiting the stress and anxiety they cause you. And that is precisely what we’re trying to do here, right?
Using the metaphor of weight lifting, you need to lift progressively heavier weights if you want to build muscle. You start with light weights and gradually increase the weight you lift over time. If you lift the same weight week after week, the muscles adapt and no longer get stronger. The same goes for limiting the influence of negative things or people in your life.
Over time, you will have an easier time saying “no” and sticking by it. This is a good thing because eventually, they will stop asking you to do things that cause stress and anxiety in your life.
Say yes to what moves you forward, no to what holds you back.
Our lives are made up of moments and experiences, good and bad, happy and sad, ordinary and extraordinary. Some of those moments are exciting and energizing, while others leave us feeling drained and depleted. But the most important thing about our lives is that it’s ours – we have the power to choose what we do with our time. We can say yes to what moves us forward or say yes to what holds us back.
Spend time with people who make you feel alive or people who leave you feeling drained
Read books that inspire you or books that make you want to throw them across the room?
Say “yes” to projects that energize you or “yes” to projects that overwhelm you?
Challenge yourself with new experiences, or play it safe and stick with routine?
Takeaway: You get to choose who, what, and where your energy goes each day!
Remember, you are the one with all of the power. You get to choose what kind of things or people you want in your life. You can surround yourself with positivity or negativity. You choose who has your energy and how that energy is spent. And above everything else, remember that if someone’s energy doesn’t lift you up, it’s probably best to cut off ties with them. After all, “You can only fill a bucket so full before it overcomes the bucket and spills out.”